Schedule the romance November 3, 2007
Posted by Gerry Baron in Hero Moments, Things to do, Tools to Use.Tags: Date Night, enhanced marriage, husbands, Marriage, romance, wives
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There are dozens of tools designed to improve productivity at work, and the population incorporating them into their daily lives continues to grow. Today, Lovendar launches its new romantic reminder program, designed to help committed couples keep their love lives romantic, exciting, and successful using their computers’ calendar software.
Lovendar is a romance planner that works with the popular Microsoft Outlook® calendar program for PCs. Throughout the year, Lovendar delivers 170 romantic ideas and reminders to users’ desktops and PDAs. At $17.50 for the downloadable version, this romantic calendar keeps customers in strong relationships for two, for less than the cost of dinner for one.
The program is sold exclusively at http://www.lovendar.com
Lovendar is available in His and Her editions. Both provide gender-specific ideas for individuals. When used by a couple, the programs complement each other, keeping partners on track for a mutually attentive relationship.
As we all know, most relationships don’t fall apart due to lack of intent, but rather lack of attention. Simple gestures are left undone in our busy lives. Lovendar addresses this problem by helping individuals prioritize romance on a regular basis. Some examples of the action prompts Lovendar users regularly receive include
For Him: -- Bring home a fresh cut flower and a hand written note. Finish this sentence in your note: I really love you when you ... -- This weekend, remind her of your first date, and recreate some or all of it. -- Text her "I am thinking of you." Do it now. For Her: -- Junk food night. Serve his favorite junk food for dinner by candlelight. -- Write down five romantic things he has done lately and share how it made you feel. -- Leave a love note in his underwear drawer tonight.
Lovendar is a valuable tool for anyone in a committed relationship. In addition to being a self-help tool to keep love alive, it’s also a great gift for romantic holidays.
Why husbands don’t take out the trash October 3, 2007
Posted by Gerry Baron in Marriage.Tags: helping, husbands, loving, responding, serving, wives
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Finally there’s research that shows why husbands don’t take out the trash! Here is an article I found on MSNBC.
Take out the trash? Why husbands don’t listen
Psychologists offer insights into why husbands refuse to take out the trash
LiveScience
Updated: 2:19 p.m. ET Feb 14, 2007
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NEW YORK – When a man fails to help out around the house, his poor performance might be related to a subconscious tendency to resist doing anything his wife wants, a new study suggests.
Men and women are sure to argue about this one. In fact, the man and woman who led the study disagree on the meaning of the results.
Psychologists have long known about “reactance,” the tendency to do the exact opposite of what’s requested by a loved one or boss. The new study aimed to find out whether the phenomenon might occur at a subconscious level.
Participants were asked to name a significant person they perceived as controlling their lives, and another who just wanted them to have fun. Then they were asked to discern words from jumbled letters on a computer screen while the names of the people they had mentioned were flashed subliminally.
The names were flashed too quickly to be registered consciously. Subjects performed better when exposed to the name of the person who wanted them to have fun than when exposed to the controlling individual’s name.
“Our participants were not even aware that they had been exposed to someone else’s name, yet that nonconscious exposure was enough to cause them to act in defiance of what their significant other would want them to do,” said Gavan Fitzsimons, a professor of marketing and psychology at Duke University.
Doing the opposite
Further testing found that study participants who were more reactant responded more strongly to the subliminal cues and had a wider performance gap.
“People with a tendency toward reactance may nonconsciously and quite unintentionally act in a counterproductive manner simply because they are trying to resist someone else’s encroachment on their freedom,” said Tanya Chartrand, also a professor of marketing and psychology at Duke.
Chartrand’s own experiences were the impetus for this study.
“My husband, while very charming in many ways, has an annoying tendency of doing exactly the opposite of what I would like him to do in many situations,” Chartrand said.
Oh, her husband? That would be Fitzsimons.
Chartrand said her husband “should now be better equipped to suppress his reactant tendencies.” But Fitzsimons said the results “suggest that reactance to significant others is so automatic that I can’t possibly be expected to control it if I don’t even know it’s happening.”
The findings related to this marital spat, announced this week, were published online by the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology.
© 2007 LiveScience.com. All rights reserved.
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