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ARE YOU A WORKAHOLIC? May 31, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Getting Married, Marriage, Sex, Staying Married.
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Stressed Executive

Most husbands deal with this issue and their marriages are suffering as a result. This problem is real and the societal pressures do not make it easier. The pressure for success and financially prowess can drive men and women to life filled with long hours and estranged relationships. This problem affects your romantic life, sexual life, interpersonal relationships and ability grow long lasting and trustworthy friendships. So take the quiz and discovery if you are a Workaholic.

How to tell if you are an extreme worker:

– Do you find your enjoyment of social activities is less? Are you thinking or worrying about work?
– Does your family complain about your work hours? If so, that may be a sign you are an extreme worker.
– Are you the last one to leave the office?

Tips to curb overwork:

– Acknowledge that you have a problem, that you are a victim of work rather than the master of it.
– Establish concrete boundaries, such as specific days that you will not work late.
– Enlist help. Make a co-worker force you to leave the office at a certain time. Enlisting social support is important.

Source: Ken Siegel, of Beverly Hills, president of The Impact Group, a group of psychologists who consult with the management of leading global companies.

Read the article Below:

Hi, I’m Joan, and I’m a workaholic

What is a Marriage??? May 30, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Getting Married, Marriage, Sex, Staying Married, Tools to Use.
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arguing couple

“I love her, she loves me and we want to make a family”… I know that is bad prose. Many couples feel these are the only ingredients for a solid marriage. Let me be a little transparent, over the past two days my wife and I have been in a, let’s call it a, “vigorous discussion”. It has not been fun to say the least; feelings have been hurt and words have been spoken that cannot be taken back. Is this marriage or a natural occurrence in marriage? Why do couples who claim to love one another, use that love against them, in some cases? If it gets too tough, “should I leave or should she leave”?

These are the questions that run through the mind of many couples when a misunderstanding turns into a discussion which turns into a debate which turns into an argument which turns into a drawn-out “vigorous discussion”. When does it end, when is it settled? When the other person gets the last word or when you shut off communication, fold your arms and stop breathing like a child? Who wins; you, your spouse, the kids? In my opinion, No one wins.

So what is Marriage? I believe there are actually two reasons for marriage – to procreate and provide a picture of Christ’s love for the church. In my opinion, I believe marriage is a process to turn you into something you have never been before; a husband, a wife. As adults we have had several experiences and relationships that have transformed us into something we had not been before those experiences or relationships.

First, I have several siblings, so through these relationships I have learned how to be a good brother. Second, I have several friends and throughout my life I have learned how to be a better friend to my friends. Lastly, I have learned in my 37 years on this earth to honor my parents. But, I have never been a husband before and have only been one for eight (8) years. Thus:

– I never had the responsibility of an entire family riding on my every decision.
– I never had to submit to someone else.
– I never had to keep my emotions in check.
– I never had to sacrifice so much of my own life for the lives of those around me.
– I never had to put the needs of others before my own.

Are these excuses? Quite the contrary, these are some of the stark realities for most men who are turning into husbands.

Well I know you’re wondering what will be the outcome in my personal situation. Stay tuned. I’ve decided to take the high road. I’m not typically good at this. But, I believe that certain situations occur in a marriage as a necessary step in your transformation as a husband. It’s easy to be a loving and sensitive guy when things are going well, but what about those times in our marriage when things are contentious. How do we react then? These are the true tests of how much you love your wife and your willingness to sacrifice your personal feelings to make things better.

What do you think?

Take On the Adventure… May 30, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Hero Moments, Husbands are doing, Marriage, Romance Leadership, Staying Married.
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 Adventure

Listen to our latest Radio Show and listen to Gerry talk about this great adventure called Marriage..

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Hero Thought – Service May 28, 2007

Posted by Gerry Baron in Hero Moments, Hero Thought, Husbands are doing, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband.
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Typing hands

My wife just completed her 1st year of biblical studies at our church’s ministry training center.   One of the requirements of getting through the school was that she had to write several papers.  The only problem was that she hates to type.  She’s a 2 finger typist and it takes her forever to type anything.

At the start of the school year she told me that she wanted me to type her papers for her.  My first reaction was “yeah, right.”  After all, I wasn’t the one in school.  What would it look like for me to type her papers.  To me it felt like she was trying to get away with something.  Besides, if she’s going through the program, she should do ALL the work.

The semester began and she asked me to type her paper.  I gave her all my “good” reasons why I shouldn’t type the paper for her. Finally she convinced me to do it.  I admit that I was quite reluctant to type the paper.  This went on throughout the semester. 

During the break, we were at a retreat weekend for one of the leadership teams we both participate on.  My wife was talking to another leader who told her how her husband typed all her papers for her and also created her PowerPoint slides for presentations.  This astonished me.  You see her husband is in a PhD program for leadership while holding a senior project management role in a large architectural engineering firm, leading a small group at church, traveling to Africa to conduct leadership training twice a year, and raising a family. 

Once the astonishment wore off, shame tried to set in.  My workload was a fraction of my friend’s workload yet I complained when my wife asked for help and he did it willingly.  I asked him how he was able to do it and he said something profound.  He said “Helping my wife with her work is a small price to pay compared to everything she does for me and the family.”

This hit home.  He was absolutely right.  Although I had heard my pastor speak about the imperative for me to serve my wife and I read books that said the same thing, I had never really considered the magnitude of what she does for me and the family.

At that moment, my attitude toward serving her changed.  Now it is a joy for me to do things that make her burden lighter because I appreciate all that she does to make my burden lighter.

Watch the video: Hero Thought – Service

Graduation… May 26, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Husbands are doing, Romance Leadership, Tools to Use, Uncategorized.
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Zaps in the air 

On Wednesday, May 23rd, my daughter Chandler graduated from Kindergarten. I know a graduation from kindergarten, what’s the big deal. Besides, what do they know at that age right? Well the answer is quite a lot. (Best Money, I’ve ever spent) During the ceremony, the teachers did a quick overview of the myriad lessons they learned and I was amazed. They learned:

• Spanish
• Low/Upper addition and subtraction
• Over 20 poems
• How to read numbers such as 754,456,969,848. This may not seem like much to us adults, but to a five year old thats an amazing feet.
• How to write in cursive
• And so much more. ..

As I looked at my wife when our daughter received her certificate, she was crying. Because we believe, that a child is truly a gift from God and we are simply stewards over them. Our job is to guide them into positive choices and give them the tools to, at a later stage in life, make these positive choices for themselves.

I believe we are setting a good example for our daughters to follow, as parents. What about you?

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Good/Bad Example…

Pass it on, Please…

Poor Jim May 25, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Marriage, Marriage Jokes, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband, Staying Married.
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Color Blind Romance… May 24, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Getting Married, Marriage, Romance Leadership, Staying Married.
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interracial-couple.jpg
Are you colorblind to marriage?

My church has over 90 different cultures from Germany to Puerto Rico to Ghana to China to Israel. Actually, my Pastor and his wife, Colleen, formed Victory World Church; they were very intentional in their pursuit to create a multicultural church family. Even though, many other “white” Pastor told him it would never work in Georgia. That was over 12 years ago. We are now over 5,000 members strong. As a result, its commonplace to see interracial couples throughout our church. However, there are those who still have issues with interracial dating, let alone marriage.

As a kid growing up in New York, at any given time walking down the street you would hear five or more different languages. You work and have lunch with individuals from various nationalities. As an African American, I played hockey at a time when the only thing black on the ice was the “Puck”. I dated young ladies of varying ethnicities and went to school, High School and College with individuals of different races. As a result, I grew up with a very different perspective on race and relationships then most Americans. I thank God for that.

So what’s the big deal about people who really love each other solidifying their love for each other in marriage? Many use the poor case of the Kids. Those opposed to interracial marriage say, “The kids will be confused. They we will be asked, ‘What are you, black, white, Spanish.’”. My oldest daughter Kayla is fourteen and her mother is Puerto Rican. When she was growing up we never pushed her to one side of her heritage over the other. As a young lady, she is beautiful and embraces both her African American and Puerto Rican background.

How does race play out in marriage and relationship? Do you think that interracial couples remain in the minority? Why are so many people, even in the church, against interracial marriage?

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