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Schedule the romance November 3, 2007

Posted by Gerry Baron in Hero Moments, Things to do, Tools to Use.
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There are dozens of tools designed to improve productivity at work, and the population incorporating them into their daily lives continues to grow. Today, Lovendar launches its new romantic reminder program, designed to help committed couples keep their love lives romantic, exciting, and successful using their computers’ calendar software.

Lovendar is a romance planner that works with the popular Microsoft Outlook® calendar program for PCs. Throughout the year, Lovendar delivers 170 romantic ideas and reminders to users’ desktops and PDAs. At $17.50 for the downloadable version, this romantic calendar keeps customers in strong relationships for two, for less than the cost of dinner for one.

The program is sold exclusively at http://www.lovendar.com

Lovendar is available in His and Her editions. Both provide gender-specific ideas for individuals. When used by a couple, the programs complement each other, keeping partners on track for a mutually attentive relationship.

As we all know, most relationships don’t fall apart due to lack of intent, but rather lack of attention. Simple gestures are left undone in our busy lives. Lovendar addresses this problem by helping individuals prioritize romance on a regular basis. Some examples of the action prompts Lovendar users regularly receive include

    For Him:      -- Bring home a fresh cut flower and a hand written note. Finish this        sentence in your note: I really love you when you ...     -- This weekend, remind her of your first date, and recreate some or all        of it.     -- Text her "I am thinking of you." Do it now.       For Her:      -- Junk food night. Serve his favorite junk food for dinner by candlelight.     -- Write down five romantic things he has done lately and share how it        made you feel.     -- Leave a love note in his underwear drawer tonight.

Lovendar is a valuable tool for anyone in a committed relationship. In addition to being a self-help tool to keep love alive, it’s also a great gift for romantic holidays.


What is Discrimination??? June 9, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Marriage, Staying Married, Tools to Use.
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At By Husbands For Husbands our stance on marriage is firm and will not change. We believe that marriage is between a man and a woman, nothing more nothing less. Our services and products are geared towards this market. Our convictions are firmly planted in scripture and until the Bible changes, we won’t change.

Having said that, each business, if you are a good business, should have a target market. These individuals are a defined segment of the market that is the strategic focus of a business or a marketing plan. Normally the members of this segment possess common characteristics and a relative high propensity to purchase your particular product or service.

We focus on husbands and husbands to be. Now is that discrimination against single guys, married women and single women? We made a business decision to focus on men who are married, not women, even though we have women that purchase our items for their husbands and even comment on our blog. But our marketing and strategic platform is geared toward Husbands and Husbands to be.

Business is about choice. If Wal-Mart does not carry what I want, I have the option of going to Target, Kohl’s, JCPenny’s, etc. – but I don’t bring a lawsuit against Wal-Mart because they did not sell my size Fruit of the Looms. We believe in the Free Market and capitalism. If I have a product/service you want to buy I should be able to sell it to someone for a profit. Now, do we condone every type of business, of course not, because, some of those businesses are go contrary to our ethical and value system.

I’m deeply saddened by the article below that highlights a lawsuit against eHarmony. Please read and provide your comments.

Are we at By Husbands For Husbands Discriminatory?
Does this lawsuit have validity, morally and legally, what do you think of the case?

eHarmony Article

Some Comic Relief… June 2, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Humor, Marriage Jokes, Tools to Use.
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Click Link Below…

Michael Jr DVD

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What is a Marriage??? May 30, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Getting Married, Marriage, Sex, Staying Married, Tools to Use.

arguing couple

“I love her, she loves me and we want to make a family”… I know that is bad prose. Many couples feel these are the only ingredients for a solid marriage. Let me be a little transparent, over the past two days my wife and I have been in a, let’s call it a, “vigorous discussion”. It has not been fun to say the least; feelings have been hurt and words have been spoken that cannot be taken back. Is this marriage or a natural occurrence in marriage? Why do couples who claim to love one another, use that love against them, in some cases? If it gets too tough, “should I leave or should she leave”?

These are the questions that run through the mind of many couples when a misunderstanding turns into a discussion which turns into a debate which turns into an argument which turns into a drawn-out “vigorous discussion”. When does it end, when is it settled? When the other person gets the last word or when you shut off communication, fold your arms and stop breathing like a child? Who wins; you, your spouse, the kids? In my opinion, No one wins.

So what is Marriage? I believe there are actually two reasons for marriage – to procreate and provide a picture of Christ’s love for the church. In my opinion, I believe marriage is a process to turn you into something you have never been before; a husband, a wife. As adults we have had several experiences and relationships that have transformed us into something we had not been before those experiences or relationships.

First, I have several siblings, so through these relationships I have learned how to be a good brother. Second, I have several friends and throughout my life I have learned how to be a better friend to my friends. Lastly, I have learned in my 37 years on this earth to honor my parents. But, I have never been a husband before and have only been one for eight (8) years. Thus:

– I never had the responsibility of an entire family riding on my every decision.
– I never had to submit to someone else.
– I never had to keep my emotions in check.
– I never had to sacrifice so much of my own life for the lives of those around me.
– I never had to put the needs of others before my own.

Are these excuses? Quite the contrary, these are some of the stark realities for most men who are turning into husbands.

Well I know you’re wondering what will be the outcome in my personal situation. Stay tuned. I’ve decided to take the high road. I’m not typically good at this. But, I believe that certain situations occur in a marriage as a necessary step in your transformation as a husband. It’s easy to be a loving and sensitive guy when things are going well, but what about those times in our marriage when things are contentious. How do we react then? These are the true tests of how much you love your wife and your willingness to sacrifice your personal feelings to make things better.

What do you think?

Graduation… May 26, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Husbands are doing, Romance Leadership, Tools to Use, Uncategorized.
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Zaps in the air 

On Wednesday, May 23rd, my daughter Chandler graduated from Kindergarten. I know a graduation from kindergarten, what’s the big deal. Besides, what do they know at that age right? Well the answer is quite a lot. (Best Money, I’ve ever spent) During the ceremony, the teachers did a quick overview of the myriad lessons they learned and I was amazed. They learned:

• Spanish
• Low/Upper addition and subtraction
• Over 20 poems
• How to read numbers such as 754,456,969,848. This may not seem like much to us adults, but to a five year old thats an amazing feet.
• How to write in cursive
• And so much more. ..

As I looked at my wife when our daughter received her certificate, she was crying. Because we believe, that a child is truly a gift from God and we are simply stewards over them. Our job is to guide them into positive choices and give them the tools to, at a later stage in life, make these positive choices for themselves.

I believe we are setting a good example for our daughters to follow, as parents. What about you?

Please review the video

Good/Bad Example…

Pass it on, Please…

Why don’t you like the Dress??? April 28, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Getting Married, Marriage, romance, Staying Married, Tools to Use.
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Indian dress 

Yesterday, Gerry and I were having a meeting with a good business friend. He was telling us about his trip to India where he did some Training sessions for recruiters. While he was there he thought it would be nice to pick up some things for his wife, like some jewelry and clothing. Like any husbands, he thought he was doing well and would really create a good Hero Moment – You know the moments when you surprise your wife by doing something so thoughtful, you get one of those, “Ooohhh Honey, you shouldn’t have, but I’m glad you did” moments. Those are very cool occurrences within a marriage.

Well our buddy returns home gleefully, expecting a warm welcome and an extra thank you for the gifts he was bearing. Let me preface the next few sentences by saying. Women think differently from men and men you need to remember that. The way we react or receive things are totally different. Having said that, let’s move on with the story. Upon presenting his wife with the gifts, he did not get the reaction he expected. Bear in mind his wife was not unthankful for the gestures, just a bit confused. Her response to the dress he purchased was, “You don’t know me, when have I ever worn a dress with beads on it.” His response was like most men, “HUH”. He probably thought the dress was nice and would flatter his wife’s figure, etc. But, in his head – right now- he was probably thinking, “This the last time I buy you anything when I’m on a trip.” But thank goodness he didn’t say that.

What’s my point? Could his wife had just said, “Oh honey, this dress is great, but you know it’s not my style” or “Oh honey, thank you so much” – then never wear the dress. Which one is the better response? Or is there another response? You tell me. All I know is that in a marriage you and your wife should have the freedom to be open and honest about every little thing – likes and dislikes. What if our buddy would have called his wife before buying the dress to play it safe? Would he have received better instructions on his purchase? Probably. Regardless of his wife’s response, there are bigger questions here that each husband should address and keep in their memory bank.

    Husbands how well do you know your wives? Their dislikes/likes in clothing, shoes, jewelry, music, etc.

I’m very lucky; I can go shopping with my wife because she thinks I have good taste in clothing. And I do. But, it took me about 4-5 years to really understand the types of shoes and style of clothes that appeal to my wife. I studied my wife.

    What is your wife’s favorite color(s)?Where does your wife like to shop for clothes?

Before you make that next purchase ask yourselves these questions. They could give you the Hero Moment you are looking for.

Romance Leadership April 5, 2007

Posted by Gerry Baron in Marriage, Romance Leadership, Tools to Use.
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What does it take for a husband to be the romance leader in his marriage? I don’t know if many husbands have given this much thought.

I asked myself “Can leadership principles that work in business be applied to marriage and romance?” At first blush, I thought that the two worlds are too different. However, upon closer examination, I could see how the business principles of mission, vision, and values are tools that can help to get a marriage on track.

Most companies have a Mission Statement which describes the reason the company exists. The idea behind a mission is that it gives everyone in the company a good idea of the direction in which the company is moving. It is the company’s raison d’etre.

Should a marriage have a Mission Statement?

I think it should. And the mission should be a big one. I believe that God puts a man and woman together to become one flesh so that they can together fulfill a purpose that they are uniquely suited to fulfill. Each of them has talents, abilities, and skills which when combined enable them to make a significant impact on a specific group of people. In my case, my wife and I are uniquely gifted to be leaders of leaders. The combination of our education, experiences, personalities, and talents place us squarely in a role of influencing leaders.

A Mission Statement on its own does little to fuel the passion of the employees of a company. That is where the Vision Statement comes in. The Vision Statement is a description of what the future will look like when the company accomplishes its Mission Statement.

What will the future look like when your family accomplishes its Mission Statement?

Whose lives will be changed because their paths crossed those of you and your wife? The Bible says that without a vision the people perish. Could it be that many marriages are ending up in divorce because they have no vision for their marriage beyond raising children?

With a Mission Statement and Vision Statement, there is a sense of where to go and what it will feel like when you get there. How can a company assure that the employees stay on track along the journey? Core Values or a Value Statement serve that purpose. The Core Values are the principle beliefs that are used to guide decisions. In the heat of the moment when emotions are high, Core Values help employees to make the right decisions. Therefore, Core Values must be consistent with the Mission and Vision Statements.

What is the role of Core Values in a marriage?

These non-negotiable items navigate a couple through the difficulties that all marriages face. A couple with Core Value established can keep disagreements from spiraling out of control.

The next three articles in this series will delve deeper into each of these three concepts. You will receive pointers on how to develop a Mission Statement, Vision Statement, and Core Values.