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Radio Interview – Bryan Davidson – Founder – SPIRITUAL Innovations September 18, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Communicating, Hero Moments, Marriage, Romance Leadership, Staying Married, Uncategorized.
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Bryan Davidson

September 18th @ 9PM – Bryan Davison, Founder SPIRITUAL Innovations

Join us as Steve and Gerry chat with Bryan Davidson about the spiritual conversations that husbands should have with their wives and their children.

Bryan Davidson, a catalytic leader, thinker and writer, is a ministry entrepreneur, and spiritual conveyor. He is fascinated with the enormous potential for a new spiritual awakening in this generation. Led by the desire to boldly wade the sea of cultures, including the Post-modern and Post-Christian culture, he wants to see the world experience revolutionary change.

To Listen Click Below…

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When is the right time? – Pt. II August 16, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Communicating, Hero Thought, Husbands are doing, Marriage, Romantic Husband, Staying Married, Uncategorized.
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Bad news

OK Guys, I’ve been getting a lot comments and emails about Steps #3 and #4 giving your wife some bad news. Lets do a quick recap for Steps #1 and #2:

(1) First let’s define – Bad News. Guys, hopefully you know your wife and her threshold to issues. The scale is from 1 to 10, with 10 being a great threshold for bad news and 1 being a low threshold. Please get a better understanding of this issue first.

(2)Second, you have to realize that no matter how strong (emotionally) you think your wife is, she is not. Most women still have that little girl inside of them, that’s needs to be protected, that needs emotional security that longs for affirmation from a male figure. So, please understand that armor of strength from your wife is a façade. She is not the callous, insensitive, uncaring person you think she is. I know some of you are saying, “Steve, you’ve never met my wife.”

Now for number #3:

Money in the Bank – Guys how much money do you have in the bank. No, not your Bank of America account, but the “Bank of Wife”. The biggest problem with most husbands, myself included, is we continously make withdrawals, emotionally, from our wife and expect her to be ok with it. This leaves our bank account in a deficit. Consquently, you must take a quick assessment of your account, if its negative, best believe that her reaction to the bad news will not be that great. If you have a positive bank account, then her reaction, depending on the severity of the news may allow for some grace.

How do you make deposits? First you limit the number of withdrawals and realize that you cannot spend all your money on Saturday, when you just got paid on Friday. Wives love the simple things. You can begin today by, “SINCERELY”, doing some of those little things she has asked you to do around the house. Also, after being in the military, I am a big believer for being on the offensive and the preemptive strike as often and as much as possible. This means you have to be proactive in the household:

(1) GIVE THE KIDS A BATH!!!
(2) DO THE DISHES
(3) COMB HER HAIR WHEN SHE GETS IN THE BED
(4) FILL HER CAR UP WITH GAS
(5) FOLD THE CLOTHES
(6) IRON HER’S AND THE KIDS CLOTHES ON SUNDAY NIGHT

Alright these were free of charge.

Number 4 later…

When is the right time? – Pt I. July 30, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Communicating, Getting Married, Husbands are doing, Manhood, Marriage, Staying Married.
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Bad news

Gerry and I have often been asked the following question, “Hey guys, is there every a good time to give your wife bad news?” In our experience, having had to disseminate bad news in our own marriages, we would say “THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME.”

For example, as an entrepreneur, your pay cycle is “Whenever your client’s cash flow is in order’, right or the sales cycle on a big deal takes longer than usual.

As a guy, you did something really stupid, like look at Porn on the family computer and your kids almost viewed some of the pictures. Or you had an affair with another woman.

Now comes the time when you have to tell your wife that your finances will be a little tight, or the dreaded, “Honey, I have to tell you something”. First, why do we say honey, as if it will soften the blow? Second, this statement immediately sends chills up your wife’s spine. It would do the same to you.

So what do we do, when we have to give our wife some bad news?

First let’s define – Bad News. Guys, hopefully you know your wife and her threshold to issues. The scale is from 1 to 10, with 10 being a great threshold for bad news and 1 being a low threshold. Please get a better understanding of this issue first.

Second, you have to realize that no matter how strong (emotionally) you think your wife is, she is not. Most women still have that little girl inside of them, that’s needs to be protected, that needs emotional security that longs for affirmation from a male figure. So, please understand that armor of strength from your wife is a façade. She is not the callous, insensitive, uncaring person you think she is. I know some of you are saying, “Steve, you’ve never met my wife.”

Steps 3 & 4 tomorrow stay tuned…

Radio Interview – Keenan Nix – Nix and Graddock P.C. July 24, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Communicating, Husbands are doing, Manhood, Marriage, romance, Romance Leadership, Staying Married, Uncategorized.
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Keenan

Come Join us this Tuesday evening @ 9PM as we speak with Keenan Nix, Managing Partner of Nix & Graddock P.C, located in Metro Atlanta, GA. We will be talking about Family, Faith, Marriage and Manhood in America. You don’t want to miss this show.

To list live and learn more about this show and past shows …

CLICK HERE…

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Radio Interview – Dennis Rouse, Senior Pastor Victory World Church July 10, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Communicating, Getting Married, Marriage, romance, Romance Leadership, Staying Married, Uncategorized.
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Pastor D

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www.victorywc.org

Come join us as we interview Dennis Rouse, Senior Pastor of Victory World Church, Norcross GA. Listen as we talk about marriage, manhood and purpose. We air each Tuesday @ 9PM. So if you have any questions or comments don’t hesitate to give us a call.

Click here to listen…

Husbandry Wisdom… June 24, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Communicating, Husbands are doing, Marriage, Romance Leadership.
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Owl

A Wise old owl sat on an oak,
The more he saw the less he spoke;
The less he spoke the more he heard:
Why aren’t we like that wise old bird?

(Edward H. Richards)

Good question to ponder..

Speaking the same language June 14, 2007

Posted by Gerry Baron in Communicating.
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Couple talking

I came across this article from Focus on the Family.

Speak Your Spouse’s Language

Are men and women really from different planets? 

Men tend to use language to transmit informatoin, report facts, fix problems, clarify status, and establish control.  Women are more likely to view language as a means to greater intimacy, cooperation, and stronger or richer relationships rather than competition.  In other words, it’s debate vs. relate.

Try making it your goal not to change your spouse but to adapter to his or her style of communication.  Make a date with each other once a week to try a communication exercise.  For example, the wife talks for 10 minutes about feelings or issues she has; the husbands does nothing but listen.  He may respond only with “I don’t understand; could you restate that?” or “What I hear you saying is …”

Then he talks for 10 minutes and she listens.  She can ask only for clarification or affirmation that she is hearing him accurately.

At the end of the exercise, neither of you is allowed to try to “straigthen the other one out” or debate the issue.

This is not a hopeless situation.  In fact, compared to many marital conflicts, it can quickly and remarkably improve.

As a guy, it takes a lot of work for me to listen to my wife. 

It never fails…she wants to talk while I am in the middle of doing something – working on my computer, reading, or watching TV.  My natural inclination is to split my time between listening to her and continuing what I’m doing.  After all, since she interrupted me it’s my right to keep doing what I was doing.

If only it was that easy.  It has taken me a long time to realize the significance of the way that I handle these situations.  Whenever I timeshare my attention between my wife and whatever I’m doing, I discovered that I was communicating to her that what she was saying was unimportant to me.  On the other hand, I let her know in no uncertain terms how valuable she is to me when I turn away from the computer, put down the book, or shut off the TV to intently listen to her.  This simple decision breathes so much life into her.

The other lesson I’ve learned in communicating with my wife is that it is not my job to solve problems.  It’s our nature as men to want to fix things.  Yet most times that my wife wants to share what’s happening in her life, she only wants me to listen.  What’s the logic in that, you ask?  There is none and that’s ok.  When she needs my help, she asks for it.  So now I just listen. 

The cool thing is that listening has become easier for me now that I no longer feel the pressure to solve any problems.  All I do is take in what she’s saying without any ownership to do something about it.

Take your listening to a new level.  Be willing to stop what you are doing, listen, and hold off your advice.  You will be surprised with the results.