How do I become More Romanctic? – #2 Keep it Simple April 10, 2007

In our last discussion, we talked about Getting Started and how the paralysis of analysis can be stifling and hinder a husband’s creativity. In this post we want to highlight some ways that once we get started we can stay on track and keep things simple. It was Albert Einstein who said, “everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.”

The second secret to romance execution is: Keep It Simple Stupid

I played a lot of sports growing up but none more challenging then Golf. Before I was married I had a nine (9) handicap (for the none golfers the lower your handicap the better golfer you are) and now after eight (8) years of marriage, I’m at a 15, which for me sucks. Because I was use to scoring much lower. So I decided to get some lessons to revamp my swing. In my first lesson, my instructor hit me with this phrase – Keep it Simple Stupid. Now at first, I thought, “who are you calling stupid” Then he went on to say that word stupid is like adding an exclaimation point at the end of a sentence. It gets your attention. So when I’m on the practice range, I’d say to myself – Keep it Simple Stupid – and you know what, I would do just that. So I want to give you guys the same advice. (By the way I have dropped 3 strokes off my score)

Keep It Simple Stupid should be your montra in everything you do. But how do you keep it simple:

It’s about time

We all have the same 24 hours in a day. But some people seem to accomplish more than others. In my opinion, it all boils down to time management and keeping the main thing the main thing. Many of you are familiar with the Pareto Principle or the 80/20 Rule (I love this concept). It explains that 20% of your input generates 80% of your output. Example:
• 20% of your sales force generate 80% of revenue
• 20% of your stores inventory generate 80% of your revenue
Try it, apply it and be a witness to the results. Is your wife in the top 20%? Where does she and romance fall on in list of priorities? Is she getting your good time or your leftovers? I’m a morning person so I operate on full tilt during the hours of 5AM – 4PM. After that, I’m shutting it down. However, this is the time when my wife gets home from work and wants to talk about the day. How many of you can relate? I thinking in my mind, “Kimberly, please can I just decompress from the day.” What should be my response? Guys, It’s about time. Time spent listening and talking to my wife when she comes in from work or a busy day, builds what Gerry and I call “Hero Points” that can be redeemed at a later date. Husbands need to make a conscious effort in romancing their wives and set aside to time to make meaning.

Quantity is good

I was reading rereading Jim Collins’ book Good to Great and something he said struck a chord in me. He said, “try a lot of things and see what sticks (or work).” I thought that was apropos to our second secret to romance. How many times did it take for you to get that first date with your wife? How persistent were you in obtaining her phone number? I took you several times to get that information right. Well why since we’ve been married do we give up when our first attempt at romance doesn’t work? Your probably saying, Steve, dude, you don’t know my wife. She laughed at the poem I wrote her. She was allergic to the flowers I bought and she hated the restaurant I picked for our anniversary dinner. Dude, I give up.” Well Don’t. Our wives want to see us pursue them and never give up. As you are creating your list of things to do, go crazy set a goal to come up with 25, then 50, then 100. Guys you are creative. Keep trying new things until something sticks; believe you will know it when it does.

What really matters is . . . what really matters.

For Better or for Worse…For Richer for Poorer … To death do you part? Remember these words. No they are not words to an Edgar Allan Poe poem. They are your marriage vows. Sometimes the best way to keep it simple is to remember the covenant we have created with our wives and the importance of our union. That’s what really matters. Keeping it simple should come easy if we stay focused on the goodness of marriage. Take some time and remember the good times guys. Get reignited about your marriage.