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Radio Interview – Phil Van Treuren, founder of Romance Tracker September 25, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Entrepreneurship, Hero Moments, Husbands are doing, Manhood, Marriage, romance, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband, Sex, Staying Married, Uncategorized.
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Phil Van Treuren

September 25th @ 9PM.

Join Gerry Baron & Steve Worthy as we discuss romantic ideas with Phil Van Treuren, founder of Romance Tracker.
http://www.romancetracker.com/

To Listen Click Here…

New Radio Button

When is the right time? – Pt. II August 16, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Communicating, Hero Thought, Husbands are doing, Marriage, Romantic Husband, Staying Married, Uncategorized.
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Bad news

OK Guys, I’ve been getting a lot comments and emails about Steps #3 and #4 giving your wife some bad news. Lets do a quick recap for Steps #1 and #2:

(1) First let’s define – Bad News. Guys, hopefully you know your wife and her threshold to issues. The scale is from 1 to 10, with 10 being a great threshold for bad news and 1 being a low threshold. Please get a better understanding of this issue first.

(2)Second, you have to realize that no matter how strong (emotionally) you think your wife is, she is not. Most women still have that little girl inside of them, that’s needs to be protected, that needs emotional security that longs for affirmation from a male figure. So, please understand that armor of strength from your wife is a façade. She is not the callous, insensitive, uncaring person you think she is. I know some of you are saying, “Steve, you’ve never met my wife.”

Now for number #3:

Money in the Bank – Guys how much money do you have in the bank. No, not your Bank of America account, but the “Bank of Wife”. The biggest problem with most husbands, myself included, is we continously make withdrawals, emotionally, from our wife and expect her to be ok with it. This leaves our bank account in a deficit. Consquently, you must take a quick assessment of your account, if its negative, best believe that her reaction to the bad news will not be that great. If you have a positive bank account, then her reaction, depending on the severity of the news may allow for some grace.

How do you make deposits? First you limit the number of withdrawals and realize that you cannot spend all your money on Saturday, when you just got paid on Friday. Wives love the simple things. You can begin today by, “SINCERELY”, doing some of those little things she has asked you to do around the house. Also, after being in the military, I am a big believer for being on the offensive and the preemptive strike as often and as much as possible. This means you have to be proactive in the household:

(1) GIVE THE KIDS A BATH!!!
(2) DO THE DISHES
(3) COMB HER HAIR WHEN SHE GETS IN THE BED
(4) FILL HER CAR UP WITH GAS
(5) FOLD THE CLOTHES
(6) IRON HER’S AND THE KIDS CLOTHES ON SUNDAY NIGHT

Alright these were free of charge.

Number 4 later…

Radio Show Interview… August 14, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Getting Married, Hero Moments, Manhood, Marriage, Romantic Husband, Staying Married, Uncategorized.
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Come Join us this Tuesday evening August, 14th @ 9PM as we speak with Olin Holley, Founder of Fulcrum Fellowship, located in Metro Atlanta, GA. We will be talking about Family, Faith, Marriage and Manhood in America. You don’t want to miss this show.

To listen live and learn more about this show and past shows …

CLICK HERE…

New Radio Button

Honey, its Wednesday…time for Sex… July 1, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Date Night, Marriage, romance, Romantic Husband, Sex, Staying Married, Uncategorized.
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Time for Sex

– Two kids, 6 and 3
– Wife in Grad School
– Teaching at two different colleges
– Just started back in Grad School
– Running two businesses

Who has time for sex? I know most of you guys can either relate or you let out a big “Gasp”. Blasphemy…Blasphemy… Well to be very honest, most guys including myself are always ready for sex. We can be dead tired from a long day of work and dealing with that insufferable boss. But, let our wife come out of the room with some sexy lingerie on and BONG, “Private Johnson reporting for Duty!!!”

The truth of the matter is most marriages are busy and intimacy wanes in comparison with other activities. So one day my wife presented the idea of having set days in the week for Sex. At first I was like, “are you crazy, I want our lovemaking to spontaneous and fun…having set days takes the fun out of it.” On the contrary, it actually increases the awareness and anticipation. Just imagine it’s Wednesday afternoon and you have been having a rotten day, reports upon reports, bad email after bad email and now you’re stuck in traffic. You remember, “Dude, its Wednesday, Private Johnson Reporting for Duty”. Second, since women are wired differently than men, your wife has been getting herself worked up all day. You see women are like Crotch pots, they take some time to get things warm, but when its time, its time. Men of course are like light switches, flick the switch and we are on. Poor analogies, but you get my meaning.

Now let me say this having set days does not remove the quickies in between each day. Also it’s not saying you have to do it on those exact days. Set days are really just a bookmark for the couple. These are set times for intimacy which could be used for sex, movies, dates or cuddling – Just cuddling Guys. I know that sucks, but hey if it makes her happy, then do it.

What do you think?

Radio Interview – Tony Moore June 12, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Getting Married, Marriage, Marriage Quotes, Romantic Husband, Staying Married, Uncategorized.
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Tony Moore

June 12th – Tony Moore, Pastor

Tony Moore, along with his wife Kim, they are the founders RADICAL LOVE, a 12-week, faith-based marriage skills building program. Radical Love assist couples in understanding that marriage is perfect: the people in it are not. Tony is also co-founder and pastor of Community of Faith Family Church in Buford, GA.

Pastor Tony speaks from a pastoral heart with genuine concern for the well-being of God’s people. He is passionate and sensitive, using generous doses of humor to convey difficult truths in the Word of God. Tony speaks to men and women, married and single, about how to live the Christian life in relationship with others.

Join Gerry and me as we discuss marriage: The Ideal, The Real Deal and The Ordeal with Tony Moore.

To Listen Click Here…

Head for the Hills… June 1, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Getting Married, Marriage, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband, Staying Married.
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Man Running

In one of my prior blogs, I began discussing the tendency, of some husbands, to develop or invoke their “fleeing mentality”, when marital situations become difficult. As always, I want to speak from own experience. In my earlier years of marriage, I suffered from this fleeing mentality. What is a fleeing mentality? My own definition: Any person’s inability to handle varying degrees of disagreement within a marriage and as a result the person shuts down, emotionally, communicatively or physically removing themselves from the situation all together, in some instances all three may take place.

Personally, the moment a marital issue was out of my control, I went into fleeing mode. My mind and actions would say, “I can’t control this and it’s not working the out.” In actuality, I was saying, “I can’t control my wife and she’s not acting the way I want her too…I want to her act like me and see things my way.” I believe that most people would love their spouse to see eye to eye with on every marital situation however, this is unrealistic.

Over the next couple of years I realized that, “God had given my wife a brain and wisdom.” But, there was something deeper at work. What was the root of my fleeing mentality? Where did this come from? Why do I revert to this mentality when trouble starts? I want to outline three quick points related to the fleeing mentality and you can let me know if you agree with them or not.

Dating Scene

Like most men, before I was married, I was heavy into the dating scene. In this scene there are several things that take place which could detrimental for most men when they enter a marriage. While dating someone:

1. I could leave a relationship anytime I felt like
2. I did not have to commit emotionally
3. I had a variety of other women I could date at the same time
4. My decisions were mine and affected only me.

As a result, these ideologies can become embedded into your persona and become a part of your thinking process. In many cases it may require a significant amount of time to change this behavior pattern, in other cases the timeline may be shorter. However, these issues are real and men need to make a conscious effort to address them before and during the marriage.

Increased Level of Responsibility

As a single guy, I had a measure of responsibility. But that responsibility started and ended with me. In a marriage, all of my decisions from the smallest to the largest affect other people. Thus, while single, my decisions were not compounded by the possible repercussion of others. This increased level of responsibility caused me some trepidation, as I felt the need to ensure that every decision was the right one. However, as you well know, not every decision renders the perfect results. The truth is “Two are better than one . . . and a threefold cord is not quickly broken.” I needed to seek the counsel of my wife for various decisions and even get this, surrender my entrenched position, when a better one was presented. What a novel idea, huh.

Fleeing Overview

(1) Fleeing does not require any work. It’s easy for me to pack up my stuff, get another home and start fresh.

(2) Fleeing does not require introspection.

(3) Fleeing allows us to relinquish responsibility.

(4) Fleeing disconnects us emotionally.

So what do we do husbands? I think we should:
• Seek assistance the counsel of others
• Practice the art of self-sacrifice and humility.

I know it doesn’t sound glamorous and “Dr. Phil-ish”, but these are the things I have seen work in the lives of other men and their marriages and even in mine, when I practice them consistently.

Be encouraged, you are a “Hero In The Making”

Hero Thought – Service May 28, 2007

Posted by Gerry Baron in Hero Moments, Hero Thought, Husbands are doing, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband.
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Typing hands

My wife just completed her 1st year of biblical studies at our church’s ministry training center.   One of the requirements of getting through the school was that she had to write several papers.  The only problem was that she hates to type.  She’s a 2 finger typist and it takes her forever to type anything.

At the start of the school year she told me that she wanted me to type her papers for her.  My first reaction was “yeah, right.”  After all, I wasn’t the one in school.  What would it look like for me to type her papers.  To me it felt like she was trying to get away with something.  Besides, if she’s going through the program, she should do ALL the work.

The semester began and she asked me to type her paper.  I gave her all my “good” reasons why I shouldn’t type the paper for her. Finally she convinced me to do it.  I admit that I was quite reluctant to type the paper.  This went on throughout the semester. 

During the break, we were at a retreat weekend for one of the leadership teams we both participate on.  My wife was talking to another leader who told her how her husband typed all her papers for her and also created her PowerPoint slides for presentations.  This astonished me.  You see her husband is in a PhD program for leadership while holding a senior project management role in a large architectural engineering firm, leading a small group at church, traveling to Africa to conduct leadership training twice a year, and raising a family. 

Once the astonishment wore off, shame tried to set in.  My workload was a fraction of my friend’s workload yet I complained when my wife asked for help and he did it willingly.  I asked him how he was able to do it and he said something profound.  He said “Helping my wife with her work is a small price to pay compared to everything she does for me and the family.”

This hit home.  He was absolutely right.  Although I had heard my pastor speak about the imperative for me to serve my wife and I read books that said the same thing, I had never really considered the magnitude of what she does for me and the family.

At that moment, my attitude toward serving her changed.  Now it is a joy for me to do things that make her burden lighter because I appreciate all that she does to make my burden lighter.

Watch the video: Hero Thought – Service