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Romance Survey – Wow!! – Are Husbands missing the Mark, that much? April 2, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Date Night, Husbands are doing, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband, Staying Married, Wives are saying.
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The second item in our survey was “Describe some romantic gestures you would like from your husband.”  The responses support our Second Key to romance – Keep it Simple!

Representative Responses

• “Take the time to plan a romantic getaway BY HIMSELF for the both of us.”

• “A trip away from the kids.”

• “Romantic dinners – not necessarily expensive, but a purposed date rather than just going out to eat.”

• “A card here and there.”

• “Getaway weekend in the mountains or the beach.”

• “Musical or Broadway show (Fox Theatre, no Broadway in ATL).”

• “Public Displays of Affection/”

• “I would appreciate anything.”

• “He is already really creative and really knows how to plan something special…He just doesn’t!”

• “Go to dinner & a play at the Fox, Civic Center, etc…”

• “A secret ‘getaway weekend’ in the mountains or the beach with spa treatment.”

• (We like this one) “Kidnap me for the day with various misc things to do. (i.e. movie, hair cut, pedicure; little things).”

• “Anything to be honest!! Date night, sending little love you note, taking romance trips. ANYTHING!!!”

• “He could give me a Kiss every morning and night.”

• “He can create an affectionate name for me. ”

• “Surprise me with lunch during the day or Something unexpected – cook for me.”

• “A limo ride that take me by myself on a four day vacation while he watches the kids Then he would come over after I’ve been there for three days. Then we would have dinner and enjoy two days together.”

• (This was our favorite response) “Doing dishes, taking out trash, emptying the dishwasher without being asked and make me a cup of tea/coffee in my favorite chair then join me with a good book on the porch or in front of the fire just to be alone together.”

In looking at this list, it occurs to me that we may be making romance more difficult than it needs to be.  Our wives are not asking for much – thoughtfulness, attention, intimacy, and communication.   However, we often feel that they want and need so much more for romance.  There was not a single response along the lines of “I want him to ride in on a White Stallion at my job, pick me up (please don’t drop me) and whisk me away, with my hair flowing in the wind.” While this would be nice, our wives know who would be left to clean up the mess the horse makes. 🙂

Our point is this – Get Started; Keep it Simple, Stay Consistent and Make Meaning.


Romance Survey – What the Wives Are Saying :) April 1, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Date Night, Getting Married, Marriage, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband, Staying Married, Sweet Nothings, Things to do, Tools to Use, Wives are saying.
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Romance Survey Results – Question One

When we conducted our survey with nearly 1000 women, we were initially optimistic about the results.   We wanted husbands to score very well in the area of romance.  Reality, however, set in with our first round of results which subsequently became better.

Not all husbands need help in the area of romance.  There are those brave and creative souls that have never lost the zeal and desire to consistently create a romantic environment in their homes. They understand what we call the four keys to romance:

1. Get Started
2. Keep it Simple
3. Stay Consistent
4. Create Meaning

These men are adored by their wives and envied by some men.

Let’s get to the results of the survey.

We asked “How would you rate your husband in the area of romance on a scale of 1-5? (1 meaning the husband exhibits none of these attributes)”

• Frequency (the number of occurrences in a given period of time, i.e., a month)
• Creativity (ability to generate new ideas)
• Variety (assortment of activities)

The Results:

29% said their husbands were Moderately Frequent in Romance Frequency
53% said their husbands were Low in Romance Frequency

24% said their husbands were Low in Creativity
41% said their husbands were Moderately  Creative

24% said their husbands were Low in Variety
35% said their husbands were Moderate in Variety

How do you think your wife would rate you?

The purpose of this survey is not to embarrass husbands.  It is to show the apparent disconnect that exists between our view of our “romance quotient” and our wives’ perception.

Ask yourself how this disparity affects you and your relationship with your wife.

Tomorrow, I will present the results to the second question – “Describe some romantic gestures you would like from your husbands” .

Marriage Romance Survey – Men How Did You Do? March 31, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Appreciation, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband, Staying Married, Wives are saying.
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We wanted to share some interesting information with our readers from a survey we conducted with nearly 1,000 women. The survey covered a myriad of questions as it relates to husbands and their romantic quotient. Throughout the week, I will be breaking the results down for each question in more detail. But, for today, I want to present some of the overall results and get your opinions and comments.

Based on the survey we conducted, a common complaint of many wives is that their husband is no longer as romantic as he was when they first met.

What do you think? Have husbands lost the fire for their wives? Have we become too busy or too uncaring to truly romance our wives – not just have sex them – but actually romance them?

Some Survey Results

29% felt their husbands were Moderately Low in Creativity, Frequency, and Variety in romance.

53% felt their husbands were Very Low in Creativity, Frequency, Variety in romance.

76% desired for their husbands to sign up for a subscripition to By Husbands For Husbands to assist them reigniting the creativity and provide a resource to enhance this area of their marriage.

For many husbands, date night means dinner, maybe a movie, and definitely “dessert” at home. That routine does pitifully little to meet your wife’s need for connection and intimacy with you.

What do you think?