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When is the right time? – Pt I. July 30, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Communicating, Getting Married, Husbands are doing, Manhood, Marriage, Staying Married.
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Bad news

Gerry and I have often been asked the following question, “Hey guys, is there every a good time to give your wife bad news?” In our experience, having had to disseminate bad news in our own marriages, we would say “THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME.”

For example, as an entrepreneur, your pay cycle is “Whenever your client’s cash flow is in order’, right or the sales cycle on a big deal takes longer than usual.

As a guy, you did something really stupid, like look at Porn on the family computer and your kids almost viewed some of the pictures. Or you had an affair with another woman.

Now comes the time when you have to tell your wife that your finances will be a little tight, or the dreaded, “Honey, I have to tell you something”. First, why do we say honey, as if it will soften the blow? Second, this statement immediately sends chills up your wife’s spine. It would do the same to you.

So what do we do, when we have to give our wife some bad news?

First let’s define – Bad News. Guys, hopefully you know your wife and her threshold to issues. The scale is from 1 to 10, with 10 being a great threshold for bad news and 1 being a low threshold. Please get a better understanding of this issue first.

Second, you have to realize that no matter how strong (emotionally) you think your wife is, she is not. Most women still have that little girl inside of them, that’s needs to be protected, that needs emotional security that longs for affirmation from a male figure. So, please understand that armor of strength from your wife is a façade. She is not the callous, insensitive, uncaring person you think she is. I know some of you are saying, “Steve, you’ve never met my wife.”

Steps 3 & 4 tomorrow stay tuned…

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Comments»

1. eddie - July 31, 2007

good stuff, waiting for step 3 & 4…

2. bebenibadoodles - September 18, 2007

Can’t wait for Steps 3 & 4. I like the part where you said that “Most women still have that little girl inside of them, that needs to be protected.”

I just wish all husbands or men for that matter would recognize that and not just depend on the woman in their life to do everything for them because that is just so not the way life works.

3. Howard MacKinnon - January 16, 2008

Thanks for your wonderful insight, as with any form of life changing events we should always study and look for the right solutions and follow our hearts… and it is never to late to say “I am sorry” for anything! Healing takes time, but worth it when you can forgive others.

Thanks again,

Howard


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