When is the right time? – Pt I. July 30, 2007Posted by Steve Worthy in Communicating, Getting Married, Husbands are doing, Manhood, Marriage, Staying Married.
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Gerry and I have often been asked the following question, “Hey guys, is there every a good time to give your wife bad news?” In our experience, having had to disseminate bad news in our own marriages, we would say “THERE IS NEVER A GOOD TIME.”
For example, as an entrepreneur, your pay cycle is “Whenever your client’s cash flow is in order’, right or the sales cycle on a big deal takes longer than usual.
As a guy, you did something really stupid, like look at Porn on the family computer and your kids almost viewed some of the pictures. Or you had an affair with another woman.
Now comes the time when you have to tell your wife that your finances will be a little tight, or the dreaded, “Honey, I have to tell you something”. First, why do we say honey, as if it will soften the blow? Second, this statement immediately sends chills up your wife’s spine. It would do the same to you.
So what do we do, when we have to give our wife some bad news?
First let’s define – Bad News. Guys, hopefully you know your wife and her threshold to issues. The scale is from 1 to 10, with 10 being a great threshold for bad news and 1 being a low threshold. Please get a better understanding of this issue first.
Second, you have to realize that no matter how strong (emotionally) you think your wife is, she is not. Most women still have that little girl inside of them, that’s needs to be protected, that needs emotional security that longs for affirmation from a male figure. So, please understand that armor of strength from your wife is a façade. She is not the callous, insensitive, uncaring person you think she is. I know some of you are saying, “Steve, you’ve never met my wife.”
Steps 3 & 4 tomorrow stay tuned…