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How do I become More Romantic? – #1 Getting Started April 9, 2007

Posted by Steve Worthy in Husbands are doing, Marriage, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband, Sweet Nothings, Things to do.

The number #1 problem we hear from men when it comes to romance is, “I don’t know where to or how to get started”. Now this is a common problem for most people, whether you have to write speech, create a presentation for work or complete a research paper for Grad School. The paralysis of analysis is forever present in our lives when it comes to getting started, in Any Thing, let alone, trying to create romantic ideas for your wife.

I wanted to present some things that can give you a jumpstart and really make the romance process simple and easy. However, it will take some commitment; remember our third step in romance execution: Stay Consistent.

Most men are good at starting something (self included), but are not really good finishers. Just take a look at that garage reorganization you started; one side looks great but the other side, well that’s another story. What about that boat you started to repair and it’s sitting in your driveway with the hood up and tools all around.
Hey guys, no one is perfect. I just wanted you know that you are not alone. So here are some concepts that will give you a jumpstart:

    Got a Minute?

Lack of motion is the number killer of ideas. Listen getting started is not about knowing exactly what to do. But it’s really about setting yourself up with a system that provides clear direction and keeps you moving forward. You will need to carve out time 4-5 times a week to jot develop an idea bank of romantic ideas. Guys, I know that we can get so bogged down with work, ministry or activities, but the relationship with our wives must supersede these things.

    Write it down – create a list

Once you carve out the time on your Blackberry, you will need to write it down. We suggest purchasing a notebook or working in a word document that can be easily uploaded. However, the goal is write your ideas down and make them highly accessible so you can refer to them when necessary.

    Do you know your wife?

As evident by our surveys from both Husbands and Wives, there appears to be a disconnect when it comes to knowing our spouse. This disconnect involves our idea of what they (wives) want – in romance – and what we (husbands) deem appropriate in the area of romance. So this begs the question, how well do you know your wife, guys – when it comes to romance? Guys, it would bode better for us when creating our list if we had a better understanding of our wives – dislikes and likes.

Most of the time we (husbands) over-shoot our wives expectation.

We try to give them the White Knight on a Horse (like in the movie pretty woman), when they simple want a nice dinner that YOU prepared. So we suggest that you study your wife for a few weeks, what types of movies does she watch, what types of programs does she watch on TV, what types of books does she read, what stores does she like to shop at? Answers to all these will help you take stock of her personality and give you a better sense of how to approach her in a romantic setting.

Give me your thoughts…



1. MB - April 29, 2007


2. sgworthy - April 29, 2007

Hello MB,

Thanks for reading our blog and for your question. In all honesty, its very hard for guys to get up the nerve to really be and say something romantic. However, once they get going they are extremely creative. In our experience, husband’s number one need in a marriage is “Encouragement from his wife”. A good consistent word of Encouragement will give a husband all the power he needs to conquer the world and become the Romantic Leader he is called to be. My advice is to continue to encourage him. Second, Keep it Simple – your reply back to your husband -when he’s being romantic – should be something simply and sweet to show that you appreciate his effort in the area of romance.

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