10 Romance Ideas.. July 28, 2007
Posted by Steve Worthy in Date Night, Hero Moments, Husbands are doing, Staying Married, romance.4 comments
Here you guys, these are free of charge use them wisely and have fun with it. You can always take these ideas and put your own spin on them.
1. Touch
Touch your spouse lovingly at least five times a day. Kissing, hugging, and hand-holding are all healthy touch points. Try to make each touch point meaningful, letting your spouse know that he or she is in your thoughts every day.
2. Talk
The average couple talks only four minutes a day. It’s no wonder spouses don’t feel close and loved. Four days a week, plan at least 45 minutes when you can be alone together and do something you both enjoy. These aren’t times to talk about problems, but rather to increase your easy-going time together.
3. Date
One night a week, come hell or high water, you and your spouse should go out alone to enjoy each other’s company. You can do anything, go anywhere, and talk about anything except three things: money, children, and work (unless it’s exciting stuff – for example, I got a promotion).
4. Have a honeymoon night
At least once a month, plan a fabulous night of romance and lovemaking. Plan the details: a wonderful meal; a fun time out on a date; a romantic movie – anything that screams ‘romance’ to you. Make this the recharging night that will advance your relationship beyond words.
5. Bring her flowers that remind you of her and write her a poem, celebrating her.
6. Surprise her with romantic dinner out – don’t tell her where you are going.
7. Take her dancing and treat her as if it’s your first date.
8. Fill the house (or just the bedroom) with candles and flowers, and spend the whole evening along with her.
9. Spend an hour at sunset telling her what you cherish about her and how she adds to your life.
10. Leave a note under her windshield wiper at work.
Honey, its Wednesday…time for Sex… July 1, 2007
Posted by Steve Worthy in Date Night, Marriage, Romantic Husband, Sex, Staying Married, romance.1 comment so far
- Two kids, 6 and 3
- Wife in Grad School
- Teaching at two different colleges
- Just started back in Grad School
- Running two businesses
Who has time for sex? I know most of you guys can either relate or you let out a big “Gasp”. Blasphemy…Blasphemy… Well to be very honest, most guys including myself are always ready for sex. We can be dead tired from a long day of work and dealing with that insufferable boss. But, let our wife come out of the room with some sexy lingerie on and BONG, “Private Johnson reporting for Duty!!!”
The truth of the matter is most marriages are busy and intimacy wanes in comparison with other activities. So one day my wife presented the idea of having set days in the week for Sex. At first I was like, “are you crazy, I want our lovemaking to spontaneous and fun…having set days takes the fun out of it.” On the contrary, it actually increases the awareness and anticipation. Just imagine it’s Wednesday afternoon and you have been having a rotten day, reports upon reports, bad email after bad email and now you’re stuck in traffic. You remember, “Dude, its Wednesday, Private Johnson Reporting for Duty”. Second, since women are wired differently than men, your wife has been getting herself worked up all day. You see women are like Crotch pots, they take some time to get things warm, but when its time, its time. Men of course are like light switches, flick the switch and we are on. Poor analogies, but you get my meaning.
Now let me say this having set days does not remove the quickies in between each day. Also it’s not saying you have to do it on those exact days. Set days are really just a bookmark for the couple. These are set times for intimacy which could be used for sex, movies, dates or cuddling – Just cuddling Guys. I know that sucks, but hey if it makes her happy, then do it.
What do you think?
By Husbands For Husband – Radio Interview May 14, 2007
Posted by Steve Worthy in Books, Date Night, Romance Leadership, Things to do.add a comment
Listen to Gerry and Steve as they are interviewed by one BlogTalkRadio’s most popular radio host, Ms. Blue. They will be discussing the By Husbands For Husbands concept, our upcoming book and provide tips on how Husbands can Become Heroes.
Monday May 14, @ 9PM EST
How a husband speaks “woman” May 12, 2007
Posted by Gerry Baron in Appreciation, Date Night, Marriage, Romance Leadership, Romantic Husband, Things to do, romance.add a comment
There’s no denying it. Our wives are a mystery to us. It’s a struggle to figure out the best way to communicate with them. In our mind we may be doing the best that we can and somehow it still seems to fall short of what they expect.
Our problem is that we don’t know how to speak “woman”. Men are not wired the same way that women are. That’s no surprise. Yet unless we learn to appreciate and understand what our wives need, we’ll continue to remain clueless.
This article is a guide to speaking “woman”. You’ll learn 4 things that our wives desire from us. For each of these desires, there are practical steps that you can take immediately to being to speak to your wife’s heart.
Our wives are looking for the following 4 things from us:
- Companionship
- Security
- Significance
- Emotional Responsiveness
What can we do to meet these needs? There are 3 levels of action that we can take – “Must Do”, “Can Do”, “Courage To Do”. “Must Do” actions are the bare minimum. If you intend to have any type of relationship with your wife, you must take these actions. “Can Do” actions go a step further. They require you to invest more time and thought. “Courage To Do” actions are those that only a few men have the guts to step up to. They demand the greatest level of selflessness and service. Let’s take a look at our action plan to enhance our relationship with our wives.
Companionship
Must Do Actions
Regularly “date” your wife. Seek to do something unconventional and unusual. Go beyond merely taking her out to dinner. Make the time together memorable. We can give you some ideas or help you plan your date night.
Can Do Actions
Find something fun to do that both of you enjoy doing. For my wife and I, that’s ballroom dancing. It’s a shared hobby so neither one of us feels that we’re putting up with something that the other likes. We both look forward to learning more about dancing.
Courage To Do Actions
Plan a special getaway just for the 2 of you. Make it your goal to ensure that the time away is memorable – the type of vacation she talks about for years. We can help with this too. Listen to “Interview – Willie Celebrates His 15th Anniversary” on the By Husbands For Husbands Podcast to hear about some of the things we did to help a client make his 15th wedding anniversary special.
Security
Must Do Actions
From time to time, tell your wife how committed you are to her. Your wedding anniversary, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day (if you have children), and her birthday are all good times to do this.
Can Do Actions
Establish financial disciplines and avoid debt as much as possible. Have a security plan for your wife that includes life insurance, retirement, savings, health, disability, and education (for her and the children). Ensure that nothing disrupts the plan by establishing a thorough will.
Courage To Do Actions
Seek to manage your lifestyle such that your income is sufficient and your wife does not feel the pressure to have to work, especially when you are raising your children.
Significance
Must Do Actions
Regularly tell your wife what value she brings into your life and how important she is to you. Be specific and don’t wimp out by just saying “Honey you are so special to me.” Give her evidence of things that she does that you consider to be valuable and meaningful. “Darling I value you because you do such a good job with the children and that gives me more confidence when we are out in public.”
Can Do Actions
Surprise you wife with a “note of praise” or a night out just to celebrate her.
Courage To Do Actions
Devote a day to lavishing her with attention and praise. Overwhelm her with adoration.
Emotional Responsiveness
Must Do Actions
Tell your wife “I love you” several times during the day. Don’t wait for her to say “I love you” then respond with “me too” or “I love you too”. Take the lead.
Can Do Actions
Find out how your wife is doing. A friend of mine suggested something he called “The First 5 Minutes”. He challenged me to spend the 1st 5 minutes when I get home from work focused on my wife. No detour to read the mail, check my E-Mail, or watch the news. My 1st priority was to be around her for those 5 minutes and let her tell me about her day.
Courage To Do Actions
Put your feelings for your wife into words. Although you might use a greeting card to give you idea starters, be original and creative in telling her why you love and admire her.
When you put these actions into practice, you will see your wife respond in new ways. She will know that you care enough to put her first. Your marriage will never be the same.
Feel free to write me at gbaron@byhusbandsforhusbands.comif you have questions or want to tell me about your experience in speaking “woman”.
Home-based Dating April 8, 2007
Posted by Gerry Baron in Date Night, Things to do.add a comment
So often we think that date night means we have to take our wives out somewhere to have a date night. What about a date night at home?
It can be less stressful for both of you if you take the time to plan a date night at home. No worries about leaving the office in time to get home or about your wife being ready for you to get where you are going on time. And your wife does not have to stress about what she’s going to wear. Just make sure you take care of the babysitter like any other date night because you want to be home alone for your date.
Here are some things you can do to have a nice date night in the comfort of your own home…
- Romantic Marshmallow Roast
You can use your BBQ grill or fireplace to make smores. Roast marshmallows over the flame, add chocolate and graham crackers, then cuddle together to enjoy this tasty treat. - Romantic Movie Night
Order or pickup a romantic movie and chill with your lover on the couch under a warm blanket. Make the setting complete by having hot buttered popcorn, soda, and movie candy (e.g., Goobers, Raisinets, Dots, Milk Duds). - Romantic Game Night
Tucked away in your closet you probably have several old-school board games and card games. Pick a few out and challenge each other to a game of Monopoly, Trouble, Scrabble, or Yahtzee. Throw in a twist by adding sexy rules and creative bets – the loser does whatever the winner wants! - Romantic Reading
Grab your softest blanket, intertwine your legs, and spend the night reading together in a cozy spot. You can read the same book to each other or each read your own favorites, stopping frequently to share interesting passages. - Romantic Cooking
Cook your favorite meal together. Make it fun by adding some spice to the cooking experience, not just to the food! Wear just an apron and she’ll be like melted butter in your hands. - Romantic Picnic
On a moonlit evening, open the curtains and blinds in one of your larger rooms facing the moon so that you can bathe in the light of the full moon. Clear an area near a window to set out a picnic blanket. Lay out your favorite picnic spread and spend some quality time with your sweetheart.
Try one or more of these ideas and let us know the results.
